Peace and Love are Possible…
I envision a world where peace and love are part of every encounter. And I get it — that may seem like a pipe dream at this point. If you look at the state of our country and the world, some would say we’re moving backwards. But what I’ve learned over the past several years is that peace and love are possible in any situation, even if it seems impossible.
When I realized in the summer of 2017 that my marriage of almost ten years was likely going to end in divorce, I was prepared to go through the worst experience imaginable. Not because we had extensive problems or because I thought we couldn’t work through it; we were best friends so I knew it would eventually be OK, but I thought it would take years to move through the muck and sadness to get to a happy ending. I truly didn’t know it was possible to maintain peace, love and well-being throughout the whole process, because I was so attached to the stigma of divorce.
Divorce is not a failure.
Our society views divorce as a failure, something wrong, something horrible — a disaster. It took a long time for me to realize that it doesn’t have to mean any of those things. Thankfully, I had an amazing spiritual mentor to open me up to new possibilities and an amazing partner who was willing to walk beside me on the peaceful and loving path.
Over the course of six months, my husband and I were able to process the grief and sadness that divorce brings and move through the process of dividing our life to build a new future for our family as friends and co-parents — all done with peace, love and faith.
There were obviously many sad moments and lots of emotions to process, but I was astonished at how easeful the process was and also how non-disastrous. It was not a tragedy. It was not the worst time of our lives. It was not something that I wish I could forget. In fact, looking back at what we were able to do, I wanted to shout from the rooftops what was possible. I wanted people to realize what I now know — that peace and love really are possible in any situation. It’s how you show up that matters.
And I realize that many people do not have the peaceful, willing partner that I had. But what I’ve seen over the past several years of helping people through this process is that, no matter how difficult your situation is or how toxic your partner is, you have the ability to create a different outcome. It is possible to create peace out of pain and healing out of hurt.
Years ago when my husband and I started sharing the news of our divorce, many people actually didn’t believe the “real story.” They were convinced that it must have been horrible and were viewing it as most people do — a tragic event. This made me realize how much unnecessary pain surrounds divorce and I felt called to share our story and open others up to what’s possible. I also realized that there is so much involved in divorce and co-parenting, from emotional to logistical to financial issues, that it makes sense it’s often so difficult and so painful.
The amount of work that goes into this process is staggering. From simple things like who will take the couch, to complex issues like splitting retirement savings, creating a co-parenting plan and figuring out where everyone will live, the choices and questions seem almost endless. When you add in the emotional aspect and heartbreak that is so often present, it becomes almost overwhelming, especially when you have children.
I realized at the end of our divorce process, that not only do I feel called to share with people what is possible, I am uniquely positioned to help others navigate all of these issues. And, I realized that for the most part, this help is not available. There are lawyers and divorce coaches, counselors and financial analysts, arbitrators and mediators, but no one is suited to help with all of the financial, logistical and emotional aspects of divorce. I realized that this holistic support is desperately needed and I can provide it.
With more than a decade of experience in the financial industry as a Financial Advisor, I have helped people with everything from retirement planning to everyday budgeting, in addition to splitting assets. I received my CDFA® (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®) designation in 2018 to be specially trained in the complexities of the financial aspects of divorce. I also have the unusual combination of being able to help people with the emotional and spiritual side, as when I was pregnant with my daughter in 2015 I began to focus more on my spiritual journey and have since spent years studying meditation, spirit, unity consciousness, inner child and emotional healing, and love activism. I received my designation as a Spiritual Teacher in late 2015 and have led a spirit-led life focusing on peace, love and oneness since that time. I also have several years of experience as a foster parent to many children, studying and practicing positive and conscious parenting with special training and focus on working with children with trauma. During these years, I practiced working through the logistics of co-parenting, including the complexities of scheduling visits, differing parenting styles, creating dual homes and conflict resolution between parents. I also helped children heal from trauma and learned what is necessary for children to thrive, even through difficult situations.
More recently, in the fall of 2019, I began to work with Katherine Woodward Thomas, the creator of the Conscious Uncoupling™ process and writer of the New York Times Bestseller Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After to become a Conscious Uncoupling Certified Coach™. This transformative process has given me additional tools and resources to help my clients heal and thrive after a separation or divorce and create lasting change and true peace in their lives.
All of these things together; my life experience along with my specialized training have prepared me for this calling – to bring peace, love and light into the process of divorce and co-parenting, and to help people create and live their best life after divorce.
Divorce does not need to be devastating. There is a better way. Hope starts here.
Get in Touch…
Questions? Check out my offerings to learn more about what types of support I offer. You can also contact me or schedule a discovery call to find out the best path forward for your situation.